A File of Ryan Pratt's Movie Reviews
And attention-span-sensitive advice to see-it, buy-it, rent-it, wait-for-it, or skip-it.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Dark Country
Skip-it - Thomas Jane's directorial debut about "a newly married coupleĆs honeymoon trip to Vegas is interrupted by the appearance of a dead body" is not worth seeing - even for fans of The Punisher and Hung.
Dance Flick
Skip-it - A few laughs amongst awful gags and very little if any story.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Confessions Of A Shopaholic
Skip-it - Another movie about a ditsy, snobby, New Yorker at a fashion magazine who loves to shop... Really!?
City Island
Rent-it - A family full of liars come unraveled one-by-one in this comedy starring Andy Garcia and a terrific ensemble cast.
Cheri
Skip-it - This romantic novel adapted for film stars Michelle Pfeiffer and Kathy Bates and is surprisingly mostly just lacking in script.
Cell 2
Skip-it - This is a sequel to a horror film that was only worth watching because of one-hit wonder Jennifer Lopez.
Carriers
Rent-it - With Bird Flu and Swine Flu on the minds of many, this film about four friends trying to escape a viral pandemic will have you red-braining in fear.
Bruno
Rent-it - Hilarious, offensive, insightful, crude and unbelievable - these words simultaneously describe Sasha Baron Cohen's latest character and film, Bruno, the newest "mockumentary" from the man who redefined the word in 2006 with Borat.
Brooklyn's Finest
Skip-it - A cast like this (Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, Wesley Snipes) could go either way, and unfortunately the cliched script leads it down the not-the-finest path.
Brothers
Rent-it - Far from cliched and Tobey Maguire's breakthrough as a "real" actor, however, Brothers continues to build and build until nothing "really" happens.
Blood: The Last Vampire
Skip-it - This terribly acted amateur film will make you finally realize this Twilight-inspired vampire obsession has gone too far.
Bob Funk
Skip-it - The whole movie can be summed up by one sentence: An awful rude drunk named Bob eventually becomes a upstanding role model thanks to a pretty girl.
Blind Date
Skip-it - A fascinating idea, a couple who lost their child go on blind dates to try and reconnect, and despite undeniable onscreen chemistry between the two stars, Blind Date is depressing and underdeveloped.
Away We Go
Rent-it - From the director of American Beauty, Away We Go stars Jim from The Office and Maya from SNL in one of the most sincere films about the ups & downs of relationships of all time.
Astro Boy
Skip-it - Unless you are a fan of the manga or a young boy, then you might want to rent it when it becomes available, but still probably skip it in theaters.
Armored
Rent-it - Fans of Reservoir Dogs and other action-packed heist moves will be entertained, but for the average movie-goer Armored is just another con that inevitably went wrong.
An Education
Rent-it - Author Nick Hornby (best known for the novels High Fidelity, About a Boy and for the football memoir Fever Pitch) wrote the screenplay for this romantic comedy about a woman who meets an older man (Peter Sarsgaard) and gives up an Oxford education.
Angels & Demons
Rent-it - This sequel was highly anticipated due to the popularity of the book, but unfortunately this literature doesn't translate to film as well The Da Vinci Code.
All About Steve
Skip-it - The stars of two of the summerĆs biggest comedies - Sandra Bullock (The Proposal) and Bradley Cooper (The Hangover) come together in this unfortunate misfire - marking what could be the end of Sandra Bullock's career.
Aliens in the Attic
Skip-it - Three signs you shouldn't see a film: Studio changes the name to pull in any whining-begging kids that can read (was originally titled They Came From Upstairs); directors last film was a disaster (John Shultz's The Honeymooners); and studio won't let press see it early.
Afterwards
Skip-it - John Malkovich and Evangeline Lilly (LOST) star in this horror/suspense supernatural thriller about a man who's haunted by death and near-death experiences from his past.
Agora
Rent-it - Rachel Weisz stars in this historical yet ambitious film set in fourth-century Egypt about the love of a slave and his mistress.
Afterlife
Skip-it - A strange movie about the afterlife that I don't mind spoiling a bit because the title hints at it, but when Christina Ricci wakes up to find Liam Neeson preparing her body for her own funeral, you know the story is heading somewhere awful.
Afghan Star
Rent-it - Rent this intriguing look at how the spreading of American pop culture (i.e. the American Idol-like TV show Afghan Star) is changing the beliefs and culture in Afghanistan.
A Single Man
Rent-it - A tempered and touching human story about a man attempting to find meaning in his life after the death of his soul-mate.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Crank 2: High Voltage
Rent-it - Crank 2 is a rare sequel that is better than the first -- not like how Empire Strikes Back is just barely better than A New Hope -- Crank 2 actually makes sitting through 2 hours of the first film well worth your time!
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