Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Source Code

Buy-it - Source Code is an exhilarating, mind-bending, sci-fi thriller where Jake Gyllenhaal enters a stranger's body on a Chicago train for 8 minutes at time in an attempt to find the bomber onboard - think Groundhog Day meets Minority Report - but better!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Captain America: The First Avenger

See-it - Marvel comics has a third great superhero film of the year with this pleasantly nostalgic, good-ole-fashioned, action adventure film.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Buy-it - The second best and darkest Harry Potter film (behind Goblet of Fire) is the perfect ending to the magical story about the young wizard and his lifelong antagonist Voldermort. Don't be surprised if Ralph Fiennes gets an Oscar nom-nod. And film might just make its way into the Academy's top 10 this year as well.

Season of the Witch

Skip-it - I am starting to feel like a broken record, but please, Nic Cage, please, stop making movies! How did you win an Oscar? Seriously? Season of the Witch is boring and ugly, so much so it can't even pass as one of those terrible movies you just have to see so you can laugh at how bad it is.

Beastly

Skip-it - An extremely misguided retelling of the classic "Beauty and the Beast" story starring the young "actress" from High School Musical, Vanessa Hudgens.

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

Skip-it - This clumsy, uninspired, monster-mash horror/comedy based on one of the world's most popular comics (60 million copies worldwide) about a private investigator for the undead can't even be considered a B-movie - and is at best a C-movie.

Sanctum

Skip-it - It is hard to imagine that a James Cameron film about water and adventure could be bad (The Abyss, Titanic and coming soon - Avatar 2 aka Avatar Underwater) but Sanctum, despite being beautifully shot in 3-D, drowns under lifeless performances and sappy dialogue.

Take Me Home Tonight

Skip-it - It's somewhat of a mash-up of Hot Tub Time Machine, House Party, and any teen rom-com starring Freddy Prinze Jr. and is just as bad as any of those FPJ films as well.

The Rite

Skip-it - Though Anthony Hopkins does his best Hannibal Lecter impression, this rite of passage should be your last if you get any redeeming value from this unscary, uninteresting, and underwhelming film that fails to explain a single cause for any effect.

Sucker Punch

Skip-it - This was supposed to be the "next big thing" from filmmaker Zack Snyder (300, Watchmen), and just like those films this epic fantasy adventure is visually arresting, however, Sucker Punch follows an un-appealing story about an un-appealing girl (though not to the eyes) who ecapes her dark reality by creating her own "dream" world."

Just Go with It

Skip-it - I had high hopes for a rom-com with some of my favorite guilty-pleasure actors and actresses (Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston, and Nicole Kidman) and two newbies that peeked my interest (Brooklyn Decker and Bailee Madison - that's right Bailee Madison, not Billy Madison) but this film about a guy pretending to be married to get a smoking hot girl - a girl that's even out of Andy Roddick's league - is terrible! I urge you to not "just go with it."

Hobo With a Shotgun

Wait-for-it - This homage to over-the-top gory b-movies is about a man looking for a new start in a new town and it would have been the perfect movie for a hot summer night at the drive-in, but at this point, if you're looking for a funny gross out film just wait for it to show up on demand.

Limitless

Wait-for-it - Bradley Cooper (The Hangover) is his usual charismatic self in this film about a pill that allows you to tap into your full potential - unfortunately, the screenwriter needs a dose of his own medicine.

Inside Job

Rent-it - Matt Damon narrates this documentary about the 2008 financial crisis, which cost $20 trillion and millions of people their jobs and homes - and though we were all a part of this depressing time, this inside look is a must see on the greatest recession since the Great Depression.

Trust

Rent-it - A handful of recognizable faces star in this film directed by David Schwimmer about family ni Chicago, and more-so their 13-year-old daughter who is deceived by an online persona.

Wake Wood

Rent-it - This horror thriller about a child's gruesome death and her grieving parents is one of those rare straight-to-DVD films that is actually worth renting. It's dark, clever, and chilling but low expectations make it even more impressive.

Rango

Rent-it - Johnny Depp truly is Rango, a pet chameleon accidentally stranded in the Nevada desert, and just like Depp, Rango is charming, smart, creative, beautiful, and definitely not for kids! Though it definitely is an early front-runner for Best Animated Picture in 2011.

Insidious

Rent-it - The first 80 minutes will have you slumped in your seat until you jump up screaming, but this film about a family's haunted house/son will disappoint in the final 20, and then fail to stick with you the moment it's ejected.

The Adjustment Bureau

Buy-it - Is Matt Damon married? Because if so, he might be having an affair with Emily Blunt. These two stars light the screen on fire and their burning chemistry is reason enough to see this film about politics, life and love and whether or not we control our own destiny.

13 Assassins

Buy-it - Cult director Takeshi Miike (Audition) creates an epicly bloody samurai action film set in feudal Japan that is an impossibly unattainable, perfectly over-the-top, period masterpiece.

Of Gods and Men

Rent-it - This international drama about French Christian monks living in harmony with their Muslim brothers in North Africa is not only the best foreign film so far this year, it is probably the best film of the first half of 2011.

The Lincoln Lawyer

Buy-it - Early reviews had the world buzzing about Matthew McConaughey's return to the courtroom (A Time to Kill), however, recently, the buzz has turned into a low hum as The Lincoln Lawyer fails to offer a single twist on the predictable formula.

The Hangover Part II

Skip-it - Excedrin and Gatorade won't make you feel any better after watching this even raunchier sequel with about 1/10th the LOLs of the first film.

Green Lantern

Skip-it - If you don't know anything about the comic book superhero's mythology and need a completely adolescent explanation in an obnoxiously loud, visual-effect vomiting fashion, you might mildly enjoy this film. Otherwise, skip-it.

Mr. Popper's Penguins

Skip-it - This Jim Carrey family comedy has certainly flown under the radar. And it's not because penguins can't fly. As my good friend Ryan Beltz (@RJB1983) put it: "Jim Carrey has obviously decided at this point in his career he is going to follow down the Eddie Murphy road of comedy #talktoanimals"

Zookeeper

Skip-it - Even if you love the zoo and Kevin James you'll hate this fluffy, offensive, and dismal film that is a complete waste of time and onscreen talent.

The Undefeated

Skip-it - This documentary is just a 2-hour, back-patting Sarah Palin infomercial.

Love Wedding Marriage

Skip-it - Mandy Moore and Kellan Lutz (one of the Cullen vampires from Twilight) might sweep the Razzies with this "comedy" that will actually leave you awkwardly waiting for a pity laugh you feel so bad for it.

The Ward

Skip-it - John Carpenter's return to horror will have you wondering if he himself was institutionalized these past 9 years. Skip this pysch-ward ghost thriller.

Monte Carlo

Skip-it - It's an enchanting and charming tale for teenage girls about three young women travelling to Paris post-graduation and the romanticly royal world they discover - boyfriends, go watch Transformers 3 while your girl giggles at this.

The Perfect Host

Skip-it - David Hyde Pierce (Dr. Niles Crane from TV's Frasier) is the perfect host of this dinner party that goes 90 minutes too long. The intriguing twist in the plot would have made a better short than a feature film. You could rent-it and quickly "drive-thru" but I'd say skip it altogether.

Last Night

Wait-for-it - Keira Knightley and Sam Worthington are a happily married couple in NYC until 7 years into their marriage the wife meets the husband's gorgeous colleague Eva Mendes who he's never mentioned before. Yadda, yadda, yadda, a drunken business trip ensues.

Bad Teacher

Wait-for-it - Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, and Jason Segel star in the completely wrong comedy about three high school teachers. If you're interested in romantic comedy parody or just want to see Diaz's charity car wash scene - this film is probably for you.

Larry Crowne

Wait-for-it - This rom-com is neither funny nor romantic, but the chemistry between Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts is believable and there is some post-retirement life lesson here... somewhere. So watch it on ABC in 10 years or show it to your dad on Netflix in a few months.

Cars 2

Rent-it - This is a rare summer sequel that is better than the first as Pixar's animated cars voiced by Owen Wilson and Larry The Cable Guy head overseas in a competition for the world's fastest car.

Friends with Benefits

Rent-it - New This Week - Now we know why Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz broke up, and why Bad Teacher stunk, because JT and co-star Mila Kunis's chemistry carries this formulaic yet hip romcom just enough the nearly recommend seeing it in theaters - if you're into that sort of thing.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Buy-it - The 3rd installment in Michael Bay's series about giant alien robots battling on earth is better than the 2nd, not quite as good as as the first, but definitely 10x better than most critics are saying. It's the perfect summer blockbuster full of 3-D action - possibly the best 3-D action since Avatar - and, surprisingly, tons of laughs! Go buy-it and help Michael Bay rub Ben Franklins in those snobby critics' faces.



Tabloid

See-it if you can - This Errol Morris documentary tells the story of Miss Wyoming Joyce McKinney, a beauty queen with an IQ of 168, who graced the tabloids with an unbelievable story 30 years before Britney Spears sahved her head and Paris Hilton's sex tape.

Horrible Bosses

See-it - This film about a pyscho, a maneater, and a tool is far from fresh but the ensemble cast of Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis, Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Spacey, Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx make it altogether funny.

The Tree of Life

See-it if you can - Brad Pitt and Sean Penn somehow managed to star in a film that you've never heard of - which is a shame - because this story about a Midwestern family in the 1950's is a splendid, emotional, rewarding, insightful, visual treat. Just be patient.

Life in a Day

See-it - As a social media savvy cinephile this documentary may be my favorite of all-time, as it depicts the lives of 80,000 people who upload videos of themsleves on July 24th 2010 to make an single incredible film created entirely by us - oh, and two award winning filmmakers.

Bridesmaids

See-it - Kristen Wiig is officially the next big thing in comedy, and proves it in her leading role as a maid of honor in this R-rated, female-driven, Judd Apatow comedy.

Winnie the Pooh

See-it - I'm not just saying this because my sister read every Winnie the Pooh story to me as a kid, Winnie the Pooh truly is a sweet and nostalgic family treat - it is a perfectly short family film for children (which Harry Potter is not!)

Midnight in Paris

Rent-it - It’s a typical Woody Allen film starring Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Kathy Bates, and Adrien Brody about an engaged couple who travels to Paris where their lives are - individually - changed forever. Fans will embrace it, millennials will be bored.

Super 8

See-it - Super 8 is as "mint" as a summer blockbuster can be these days, pairing Steven Spielberg and J.J. Abrams in a sci-fi adventure about a group of small town kids who accidentally capture a shocking military secret on film. It falls somewhere between Goonies, Stand By Me, E.T. and Close Encounter of the Third Kind. And don't leave the theater until you see the kid's homemade zombie film roll during the credits.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

True Grit

Rent-it - This western starring Matt Damon and Jeff Bridges is one of the Coen Brothers (A Serious Man, Burn After Reading, O Brother Where Art Thou?) best films. And newcomer Hailee Steinfeld, who plays a stubborn young woman trying to track down her father's murderer, steals every scene she is in, despite the talent next to her onscreen.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Arthur

Skip-it - Russel Brand will literally always be the bridesmaid, never the bride, and this film proves his inability in the leading role, "starring" as the irritating billionaire who unwillingly learns to not rely solely on his "charm" and fortune.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Backwoods

Skip-it - A corporate paintballing retreat turns into a horrifying game with locals.  

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Bad Teacher

Wait-for-it - Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, and Jason Segel star in the completely wrong comedy about three high school teachers. If you're interested in a romantic comedy parody - or just want to see Diaz's charity car wash scene - this film is probably for you.