Darkness Falls

Skip-it - You'll hope darkness falls on your TV screen 5 minutes into this 70-minute horror-ible film.

Cape Fear

Rent-it - This shocking mysterama about a sexual assault felon is extremely mainstream for a Martin Scorsese and Robert De Niro film -- but it's also just as smart and stylish as you'd expect.

Willy Wonka & Chocolate Factory

Rent-it - The early 70s version of this "family musical" is completely faithful to Roald Dahl's imaginative book and is even more colorful on Blu-ray.

The Goonies

Rent-it- The Goonies is the classic story of a childhood adventure.

The Crow

Rent-it - Brandon Lee gave his life for this visually stunning 90s film about a rock musician who seeks revenge for his death and his murdered fiance.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Skip-it - Everything you loved about the first Pirates film, and clung to in the 2nd and 3rd, is lost at sea in this overly 3D, obnoxiously loud, fourth film that proves Johnny Depp's Jack Sparrow character was best at amusing one-line commentary on the solid acting by now absent Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom.

Texas Killing Fields

Skip-it - This mysterama about two cops and a serial killer in a small Texan town would be a fantastic made-for-TV film but it's missing a feature-film story.

Trespass

Skip-it - It's Hostage meets Panic Room plus The Stepford Wives minus creativity plus an R-rating starring Nicole Kidman but also including the typically-terrible acting of Nic Cage.

Chalet Girl

Rent-it - If you are a teenage girl you will recognize many of the faces in this film about a pretty tomboy who goes from professional skateboarding to flipping burgers -- but if you don't recognize these faces you won't enjoy this film.

The Skin I Live In

See-it if you can - This typically confusing arthouse flick stars Antonio Banderas as a plastic surgeon attempting to create artificial skin that could have saved his wife's life -- but the bizarre confusion is worth it in the shockingly twisting end.

Fireflies in the Garden

Skip-it - Skip this instantly forgettable melodrama starring Julia Roberts, Ryan Reynolds, Willem Dafoe, Emily Watson, and Carrie-Anne Moss about a boringly "perfect" family.

The Big Year

Skip-it - Steve Martin, Jack Black and Owen Wilson are funny -- no surprise there -- but the story about three friendly rivals dedicating a year of their lives to birdwatching isn't.

The Thing

Skip-it - Even though John Carpenter hasn't made a good film since the 90s, his early-80s version of this film about "things" buried in the ice is 10x better than this remake.

Footloose

Rent-it - It's basically the same Flashdance meets Rebel Without a Cause film from the 80s, but Miles Teller's charming learning-how-to-dance scene makes it worth renting -- if you'r into that sort of thing.

The Family Man

Skip-it - In the year 2000 Nicolas Cage was actually a reason to see movies, not skip them, and his performance in The Family Man is no different. However, this Christmas dram-com's script is predictable and lame, even for a sentimental holiday film. Skip this "It's a Wonderful Life" look-a-like and go rent that instead.

Beautiful Boy

Rent-it - Parents will feel for these parents Maria Bello and Michael Sheen, who struggle with "why" their son committed a mass shooting at his college and then took his own life. But the rest of us are left too far outside the story to really feel the emotions a story like this should portray.

Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer

Skip-it - Unless you're actually interested in something self-described as "supermegatotallythrilladelic" and/or you are 5 years old you will be utterly bored, annoyed and angry simultaneously while watching this 90-minute story of a brother and sister's summer "adventure" - skip this movie based on the popular children's book series.

Toast

Rent-it - This light-hearted dramcom proves the best way to man's heart is through his stomach, but this British recipe could use a translator or at least some subtitles.

Intruders

Skip-it - Skip-it unless you can deal with an outlandish twist, because the rest of this film about two haunted families is actually quite spooky.

The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)

Skip-it - The original film about an insane doctor and his insane plan was gross because it was clever, this sequel is clever because it's gross -- but anyone who enjoys this film is missing the fact that the director is making fun of you.

The Way

Rent-it - Martin Sheen is a doctor who embarks on the historical pilgrimage to honor his recently deceased son (Emilio Estevez, who also wrote and directed this film) and the journey not only enlightens him, but it enlightens us as well.

Dirty Girl

Skip-it - A reserved, formulaic drama about a not-so-reserved, formulaic high school girl.

The Ides of March

Rent-it - This mysterama about the frantic final days of the ever-important Ohio presidential primary won't win an Oscar for Best Picture -- but George Clooney and Ryan Gosling might!

Real Steel

Skip-it - You already know about the dumb robot-boxing plot, but the actually-exciting, over-the-top, Hollywood action will pull you in if you're not careful. Skip this film -- even if it's on HBO.

Jane Eyre

Rent-it - Mia Wasikowska (Alice in Wonderland) may earn herself an Oscar in her portrayal of Jane Eyre, a governess for a wealthy man who has made her life, until now, completely drab and dreary.

Almost Famous

Rent-it - Rent this heart-warming story about a 15-year-old boy hitting the road with an up-and-coming rock band if for no other reason that it being the favorite film of Entourage's Vinny Chase.

Space Jam

Skip-it - This mishmash of animation and live action stars Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, and Wayne Knight (aka Newman). Unless you are huge fan of one of those 3 "actors" skip-it and rent Roger Rabbit or Cool World instead.

Jackie Brown

Rent-it - This far less famous Quentin Tarantino and Samuel L. Jackson film about a Ruthless arms dealer, a beach-babe, and his old buddy is as typical as a Tarantino film can be -- and just as good.

Pulp Fiction

Buy-it - This 90s classic came out the same year as Schindler's List, Philadelphia, and Jurassic Park, or it would have one a handful of Oscars. Quentin Tarantino's writing and directing is brilliant as always, but the ensemble cast including Bruce Willis, Samuel Jackson, Uma Thurman, John Travolta and others was even better. Go buy this violent, pop drama.

Scream 4

Rent-it - Scre4m never takes itself too seriously, not only poking fun of the entire genre, but also cleverly mocking itself - and does so so well that it actually twists itself around into a refreshing, original serial killer drama that will thoroughly entertain you from start to finish.

Fast Five

Rent-it - Fast Five takes the best of all four Fast and Furious films and smashes it together with hilariously cheesy Arnold-esque one-liners from The Rock resulting in two hours of pure action entertainment that never takes itself too seriously. You shouldn't either. Just sit back and enjoy - until you give a standing O for the Rock and Vin Diesel's head-on collision.