A File of Ryan Pratt's Movie Reviews
And attention-span-sensitive advice to see-it, buy-it, rent-it, wait-for-it, or skip-it.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Coraline
Skip-it - This animated stop-motion 3-D horror fantasy film based on Neil Gaiman's 2002 novella of the same name was only worth seeing in 3-D theaters.
Chloe
Rent-it - Amanda Seyfried, Liam Neeson, and Julianne Moore star in this sexual thriller about a married couple and a suspected affair, and the three leads all lay down purposeful and insightful melodramatic performances.
Avatar
Skip-it, rent-it and then buy-it - Visually amazing and truly like nothing you've ever seen before, Avatar's story is lacking and cliched at best, and Cameron fails to write characters that get you emotionally involved enough to truly care. However, in IMAX 3-D, it is an experience you will never forget! Unfortunately, the studio (20th Century Fox) is releasing it first as barebones as a DVD/Blu-ray has ever been, with zero special features, then in a few months will release the "ultimate edition" with those mysteriously absent special features, and then by Christmas time will likely FINALLY release the 3-D version! So hold off if you can!
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
Skip-it - The first one was bearable, as an HBO not-fully-paying-attention, watch-in-the-background-as-I-do-other-things filler... this one is not!
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
The Cove
Rent-it - A rousing documentary which ghastly depicts the secret slaughtering of dolphins in Japan.
Bandslam
Rent-it - If you are a young teenager this may be your favorite film of the year, but for others Bandslam is surprisingly an intelligent, entertaining musical drama with zero teen-film cliches.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Crazy Heart
Rent-it - An incredible performance by Jeff Bridges accompanied by Colin Farrell, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Robert Duvall in a film about a over-married, over-drunk, and over-travelled country singer and the real-man inside.
Beyond a Reasonable Doubt
Skip-it - A story about lawyers starring Michael Douglas has historically been a successful equation, but this time it equals complete failure.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Best Worst Movie
Rent-it - Hands down the best documentary of the year is a film that takes an in-depth look at the undisputed worst movie ever made, Troll 2.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Edge of Darkness
Rent-it - Despite being a plot and character you've seen from Mel Gibson before, Edge of Darkness is as determined and ferocious as Gibson himself.
Echelon Conspiracy
Skip-it - Don't even think about this technological thriller again. just go rent Eagle Eye, a much better version of the same thing (or catch it on HBO).
Easy Virtue
Rent-it - A light American story starring some recognizable faces (Jessica Biel and Colin Firth) caught in between the new world and the old.
9
Rent-it - Besides being unable to connect with these strange creatures, this film has everything you want in a movie, including some spectacular visuals that will have you showing off your 1080p Blu-ray to all your friends and family for weeks.
12 Men of Christmas
Skip-it - Even if you are a die-hard Kristin Chenoweth fan and put your Christmas tree up the week before Macy's decorates their stores you will still not enjoy this holiday movie.
12 Rounds
Skip-it - If you are looking for an onslaught of action you've found it. Hoping for a logical, interesting plot? The WWE has better story-lines.
41-Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It
Skip-it - Skip this spoof of Judd Apatow comedies about an older virgin who attempts to "score" with some help from his horny friends.
2012
Skip-it - Even visually 2012 is nothing special, with effects like the things you saw in The Day After Tomorrow and even Independence Day.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Dark Country
Skip-it - Thomas Jane's directorial debut about "a newly married coupleÃs honeymoon trip to Vegas is interrupted by the appearance of a dead body" is not worth seeing - even for fans of The Punisher and Hung.
Dance Flick
Skip-it - A few laughs amongst awful gags and very little if any story.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Confessions Of A Shopaholic
Skip-it - Another movie about a ditsy, snobby, New Yorker at a fashion magazine who loves to shop... Really!?
City Island
Rent-it - A family full of liars come unraveled one-by-one in this comedy starring Andy Garcia and a terrific ensemble cast.
Cheri
Skip-it - This romantic novel adapted for film stars Michelle Pfeiffer and Kathy Bates and is surprisingly mostly just lacking in script.
Cell 2
Skip-it - This is a sequel to a horror film that was only worth watching because of one-hit wonder Jennifer Lopez.
Carriers
Rent-it - With Bird Flu and Swine Flu on the minds of many, this film about four friends trying to escape a viral pandemic will have you red-braining in fear.
Bruno
Rent-it - Hilarious, offensive, insightful, crude and unbelievable - these words simultaneously describe Sasha Baron Cohen's latest character and film, Bruno, the newest "mockumentary" from the man who redefined the word in 2006 with Borat.
Brooklyn's Finest
Skip-it - A cast like this (Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, Ethan Hawke, Wesley Snipes) could go either way, and unfortunately the cliched script leads it down the not-the-finest path.
Brothers
Rent-it - Far from cliched and Tobey Maguire's breakthrough as a "real" actor, however, Brothers continues to build and build until nothing "really" happens.
Blood: The Last Vampire
Skip-it - This terribly acted amateur film will make you finally realize this Twilight-inspired vampire obsession has gone too far.
Bob Funk
Skip-it - The whole movie can be summed up by one sentence: An awful rude drunk named Bob eventually becomes a upstanding role model thanks to a pretty girl.
Blind Date
Skip-it - A fascinating idea, a couple who lost their child go on blind dates to try and reconnect, and despite undeniable onscreen chemistry between the two stars, Blind Date is depressing and underdeveloped.
Away We Go
Rent-it - From the director of American Beauty, Away We Go stars Jim from The Office and Maya from SNL in one of the most sincere films about the ups & downs of relationships of all time.
Astro Boy
Skip-it - Unless you are a fan of the manga or a young boy, then you might want to rent it when it becomes available, but still probably skip it in theaters.
Armored
Rent-it - Fans of Reservoir Dogs and other action-packed heist moves will be entertained, but for the average movie-goer Armored is just another con that inevitably went wrong.
An Education
Rent-it - Author Nick Hornby (best known for the novels High Fidelity, About a Boy and for the football memoir Fever Pitch) wrote the screenplay for this romantic comedy about a woman who meets an older man (Peter Sarsgaard) and gives up an Oxford education.
Angels & Demons
Rent-it - This sequel was highly anticipated due to the popularity of the book, but unfortunately this literature doesn't translate to film as well The Da Vinci Code.
All About Steve
Skip-it - The stars of two of the summerÃs biggest comedies - Sandra Bullock (The Proposal) and Bradley Cooper (The Hangover) come together in this unfortunate misfire - marking what could be the end of Sandra Bullock's career.
Aliens in the Attic
Skip-it - Three signs you shouldn't see a film: Studio changes the name to pull in any whining-begging kids that can read (was originally titled They Came From Upstairs); directors last film was a disaster (John Shultz's The Honeymooners); and studio won't let press see it early.
Afterwards
Skip-it - John Malkovich and Evangeline Lilly (LOST) star in this horror/suspense supernatural thriller about a man who's haunted by death and near-death experiences from his past.
Agora
Rent-it - Rachel Weisz stars in this historical yet ambitious film set in fourth-century Egypt about the love of a slave and his mistress.
Afterlife
Skip-it - A strange movie about the afterlife that I don't mind spoiling a bit because the title hints at it, but when Christina Ricci wakes up to find Liam Neeson preparing her body for her own funeral, you know the story is heading somewhere awful.
Afghan Star
Rent-it - Rent this intriguing look at how the spreading of American pop culture (i.e. the American Idol-like TV show Afghan Star) is changing the beliefs and culture in Afghanistan.
A Single Man
Rent-it - A tempered and touching human story about a man attempting to find meaning in his life after the death of his soul-mate.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Crank 2: High Voltage
Rent-it - Crank 2 is a rare sequel that is better than the first -- not like how Empire Strikes Back is just barely better than A New Hope -- Crank 2 actually makes sitting through 2 hours of the first film well worth your time!
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Dead Snow
Rent-it - This Nazi slasher Zombie film received rave reviews at Sundance.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Daybreakers
Buy-it - This film with a new twist on a vampire nation where humans are forced "underground" has just enough science-fiction action to entertain movie-goers interested in the genre.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Code
Rent-it - A caper drama starring Morgan Freeman and Antonio Banderas going for one last heist to pay back debts to the Russian mob (see the theme yet?).
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