A File of Ryan Pratt's Movie Reviews
And attention-span-sensitive advice to see-it, buy-it, rent-it, wait-for-it, or skip-it.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Moneyball
See-it - Brad Pitt stars as Billy Beane, the general manager of the Oakland Athletics, in not only one of the best sports movies ever made, but also one of the best films of the year. Don't miss this smart, funny, well-written and well-acted film just because it's about baseball -- because the Academy sure won't.
Dolphin Tale
Rent-it - This touching tale about a dolphin tail is as heart-warming as it is true.
Abduction
Skip-it - Taylor Lautner is not only a bad actor, he's also a crummy action star, and this awful film just proves that Team Edward will always win.
Killer Elite
Rent-it - Clive Owen and Robert De Niro's names are on the poster, but this is a Jason Statham film through-and-through -- if care for that you'll care for this solid action movie about a secret military society.
Labels:
action,
Clive Owen,
Jason Statham,
Rent-it,
Robert De Niro
Pearl Jam Twenty
Skip-it - Unless you are die-hard P-jammer you will be annoyed with the band's insistence on resisting fame.
Dream House
Skip-it - Daniel Craig, Rachel Weisz, and Naomi Watts "star" in the same ole horror story -- a family leaves the busy city only to find their new small-town home isn't what they thought it would be.
Labels:
Daniel Craig,
horror,
Naomi Watts,
Rachel Weisz,
Skip-it
Tucker & Dale vs Evil
See-it if you can - If you enjoy hor-coms like Shaun of the Dead and Hobo with a Shotgun you'll love this funny, scary, and smart -- yes smart -- film about killer rednecks. And the best part (unlike Shark Night) is that it's rated R!
50/50
See-it - It's inspired by a true cancer diagnosis story, but it's not a Lifetime movie or Hallmark film -- it's a clever dram-com starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen that will make you laugh AND cry.
What's Your Number?
Skip-it - Anna Faris and Chris Evans are typically talented actors, but this rom-com is as terrible as the concept -- who tries to find the love of their life from a list of their exes?!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Drive
See-it - It's like pulling a 90-mph, 270-degree spinout in a black Ford Mustang with a nameless stranger at the wheel - but this nameless guy isn't nameless, he's Ryan Gosling and he's the Driver, and it's a loud, violent, completely awesome action film about a movie stunt driver by day and getaway wheelman by night. And, it might be the best film of the year.
The Lion King (In 3D)
See-it - If you never saw this film about a lion cub prince in theaters (so people under the age of 25), go see this special 3-D edition of one of the best animated films of all time. But try not to cry on those 3-D glasses.
The Devil's Double
Wait-for-it - This interesting story about Saddam Hussein's party-boy son and his body double is ruined by the movie's clashing of glossy direction and offensive violence.
I Don't Know How She Does It
Skip-it - If you want to see Sarah Jessica Parker as a wealthy woman with relationship issues in a painfully predictable romcom go rent Sex & the City.
Straw Dogs
Skip-it - If you want to see a gruesomely violent analogy for our bipartisan beliefs go rent Dustin Hoffman's 1971 version of this film about a screenwriter's bloody conflict with his new neighbors.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Thor
Buy-it - Something about an Australian swinging a hammer just didn't strike me as "cool" superhero material, but Thor, like Iron Man, is comic-book movie gold, with the perfect mix of action and laughs, and brilliantly iconic direction by Kenneth Branagh. But boy do I feel bad for younger brother Liam Hemsworth who lost out to big brother Chris for the title role of a lifetime.
Star Wars: Original Trilogy (Episodes IV-VI)
Buy-it - These are some of my favorite films of all-time and even though George Lucas ruined parts of them, again, they are still the definitive Blu-rays for your collection. You have to see this epic space saga in HD. And maybe just mute the last 10 minutes of DTS sound.
Star Wars: Prequel Trilogy (Episodes I-III)
Rent-it - Though these three films actually look and sound better than the original trilogy in HD, the story is lacking (besides nicely tying up loose ends between 3 and 4) and the acting is supremely sub-par. But I did camp out overnight to see the Revenge of the Sith premiere so who am I to judge.
Monday, September 12, 2011
The Perfect Host
Skip-it - David Hyde Pierce (Dr. Niles Crane from TV's Frasier) is the perfect host of this dinner party that goes 90 minutes too long. The intriguing twist in the plot would have made a better short than a feature film. You could rent-it and quickly "drive-thru" but I'd say skip it altogether.
Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family
Skip-it - Tyler Perry shows off his range once again in yet another terribly unfunny Madea film - thank you South Park for taking care of the world's greatest threat to mankind.
Incendies
Rent-it - Incendies is a tragically sobering tale about two adults who sit down to read the will of their recently passed mother only to find two envelopes they didn't expect - one for their father they thought was dead and one for a brother they never knew existed.
True Legend
Wait-for-it - Unless you are a martial-arts movie buff, then immediately go see this heart-pounding epic film from Yuen Woo Ping (The Matrix trilogy, Kill Bill Volumes I and II, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Hero) about the timeless battle between good and evil.
Conan O'Brien Can't Stop
Rent-it - This documentary about Conan's 6-month leave from TV, radio and internet doing stand-up on a 32-city music-and-comedy tour is as funny and intriguing as any documentary you will ever see. Even Letterman and Leno fans will ROTFL and even Conan's haters will find some pleasure in the more raw moments caught on film.
Love Wedding Marriage
Skip-it - Mandy Moore and Kellan Lutz (one of the Cullen vampires from Twilight) might sweep the Razzies with this "comedy" that will actually leave you awkwardly waiting for a pity laugh you feel so bad for it.
Everything Must Go
Rent-it - Will Ferrell is surprisingly low-key in a dram-com film that shockingly offers a little perspective, as he falls off the wagon, gets fired from his job, and returns home to find his wife has left him and his clothes in the front yard.
Hanna
Rent-it - This Hunger Games look-a-like is a cool new take on an action revenge thriller, when a little girl enters the world for the first time only to find she is more soldier than little girl.
X-Men: First Class
Buy-it - The epic beginning of the mutant saga is just as diverse, stylish and powerful as the "superheroes" it's about. You'll leave wishing the Cold War had never ended. But it's the perfect summer blockbuster that will obviously have a sequel and will certainly make a handful of somewhat recognizable faces into Hollywood stars.
United 93
Rent-it - 5 years after 9-11 we got this gut-wrenching film about the brave passengers on this doomed flight, 5 years after that we get it on Blu-ray 5 days before the 10 year anniversary.
Straw Dogs
Rent-it - Dustin Hoffman starred in the original Straw Dogs in 1971, a film about a family moving to a small town and one of the most controversial, gory and provocative films of all time.
Scarface
Buy-it - If you are a man this is a must own, overly-violent, often-quotes gangster film starring Al Pacino as exiled Cuban criminal Tony Montana and Michelle Pfeiffer as his cokehead mistress.
Apollo 18
Wait-for-it - Since I don't believe we ever actually landed on the moon it's hard to believe this "true" story but it is semi-scary.
Shark Night 3D
Skip-it - This is not Pirahna 3D! This truly is "a dumb shark movie." This is a neutered PG-13 "horror" film with no gore and zero nudity - in other words, one of the worst films of the year.
Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame
See-it if you can - This mix of Sherlock Holmes and Chinese martial arts is as cheesy as it is breathtaking - a strange combination, I know, and so is this wonderful action, adventure, mystery film.
The Debt
Rent-it - Three retired Mossad secret agents find that an anti-Nazi mission accomplished in 1966 might not have been. Secrets and suspense ensue.
Main Street
Skip-it - If you think Ohio is boring wait 'til you see this "drama" with an ensemble cast of forgettably bland faces in an even blander North Carolina town.
Shaolin
Rent-it - This film about feuding warlords and Shaolin monks is more of an epic drama than an kung-fu action-adventure, but the handful of hand-to-hand fight scenes are spectacular and the big-budget cinematography is quite handsome. It's no 13 Assassins though.
Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star
Skip-it - Christina Ricci and Stephen Dorff's careers are officially over. They are no longer stars. And neither is Bucky Larson.
Warrior
See-it - Even if you're not a UFC fan, you need to see Tom Hardy in this gripping MMA film before he gets even more roided up as Bane in the 3rd Dark Knight film. He will win an Oscar very soon.
Contagion
See-it - This suspenseful film about a lethal airborne virus is terrifying - not like The Ring or Texas Chainsaw terrifying, terrifying like it could really happen to you terrifying - with a believable plot and A-list acting that only makes it more powerful.
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